People don't know, because I never tell them, but I'm transgender.
It seems like such a small thing that's not even worth mentioning. Yet I'm always apprehensive to let people know, because there are two outcomes if I let it slip. Best case scenario, they smile and say "That's cool", we're all still friends. The other outcome is that I might get laughed at, belittled, and suddenly I'm not someone who can be taken seriously anymore. I'm not taking that chance, especially since I know the people who react the other way are the louder ones.
Whenever I hear the word "transgender", I'm always fearing something bad will follow it.
Once, I was sitting on the fencing bus, when somehow the topic of transgender people came up. This isn't a unique occurrence here, there's often a snide remark about how you'll get arrested if you misgender someone, or something related to the endless debate of trans people in sports (Sarcastically: "I identify as a girl now." "That's great! You should go and do women's epee"). I remember someone laughing and talking about how stupid the concept of being transgender was. I felt something coil up inside me, retreating. Even though that person wasn't talking to me, I knew that if he caught wind that I was transgender, I'd probably never hear the end of it.
There's a thriving queer community here at Sentinel, even though homophobia and transphobia are rampant here. I'm glad that the GSA Club and Pride Week exist; thanks to GSA, queer kids can feel seen and feel safe. However, despite Pride Week existing for 2 years now, I've still heard stories of fellow queer people being harassed and mocked at school.
Queer people aren't the only people who get bullied though. What makes this different from just bullying?
Firstly, some of the stuff that gets thrown around about queer people is particularly cruel. It can be subtle, like posting a picture of someone with dyed hair and captioning it "Find God". Or it can be going up to someone and making a joke about the trans suicide rate. These are both actual occurrences I've seen or heard from others.
This issue isn't just a matter of immature bullying from high school kids though. The people who do this range from 8th graders to the graduating class. Look at the anti-trans bills being passed in the United States: this homophobic and transphobic sentiment extends to politicians as well. I don't want to have to live in a society that lets these laws be passed; I don't want to have to feel like I have to always fight just to live like any other cis person.
It runs even deeper than overt acts of harassment though. When I was little, I often wondered, why is it normal when girls wear pants, but strange when guys wear skirts? This double standard is still hanging around, keeping some individuals from being able to be themselves in their day-to-day lives. The only time we see a man put on a skirt in our lives is during events such as Halloween, Tight N' Bright, or Grad Kidnap. Fun events, where it's acceptable for men to put on a dress because it's just a costume or it's just for the sake of a joke. Men, or MTF (Male-to-female) individuals expressing femininity must often do so in the guise of humour to be able to avoid scrutiny.
Though it frustrates and saddens me how the world is still unwelcoming towards queer individuals, I'm glad there are people working to make a place for us. From the GSA Club, to teachers putting up pride flags on their doors, or asking about pronouns and preferred names, this lets us know that there are people we can trust to respect us. For those who aren't queer, but want to know how they should talk to queer people, the answer is simple: the same as any other person. The last thing I want to feel is "othered". I appreciate people asking genuine questions though (so long as they're appropriate).
Happy Pride Month!
List of LGBTQ+ Friendly businesses in British Columbia: https://thepinkpagesdirectory.com/listings/canada/british-columbia/
Official website of the Vancouver Pride Society:
Guide for FTM people (written by a trans man):
Guide for MTF people (written by a trans woman):
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